We love going to movies. We love talking about movies. Thought I would take this a step further and review some of my most favorite movies Devan and I have seen the past couple of months. Warning: these are all good reviews and recommendations. You might have to go somewhere else for bad reviews (like IMDB Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2).

Far from the Madding Crowd (2015)

 

I have to review this movie because it pulls at my Victorian England/Jane Austen heart strings. If you are a fan of Jane Austen in the slightest, I would make a sizeable bet that you would enjoy this movie. The movie is a remake and adaptation from the book “Far from the Madding Crowd” by Thomas Hardy.  First, let’s talk acting-- Carrie Mulligan plays the protagonist (Bathsheba Everdene) and she is a dream.  In fact, she has risen to one of my top women-crushes on screen and Devan pointed out that she is a perfect blend of Katie Holmes and Rachel McAdams, which I think is very accurate (Devan has a talent as this particular thing). Anyways, all other characters and specifically the three different suitors she faces throughout the movie all had stand-up performances. The movie wasn’t without its drama either- there is plenty of it. It wasn’t as slow as some of the Jane Austen movies you’ve come to know and love- so ladies, take your husbands/boyfriends.  Bathsheba is a headstrong woman fighting for independence and seeking love in all the wrong places. This is a relatable struggle that woman face across generations. Add some class to your chic-flic choices and put this movie on your list to see. (If your significant other won't watch it, call me- I'll watch it again).

Inside Out

 

Disney Pixar has done it again! I loved the originality of this story. The most resonating part of this film is the deeper meaning behind dealing with emotions, especially for children. I think the psychology behind this film is spot on and the humor is hilarious, I lol’d probably 100 times. I did not go with any kids, and I talked to several people that took kids to this movie and they all made the same comment- "It was way over my kids head and didn’t quite keep their attention the whole time." I could see how this would be true. The premise of the movie really hit home for me—I went through the same emotions when my parents moved our family from Utah to California. So take this review with a grain of salt—it’s my favorite Disney Pixar! Also- Amy Pohler as the voice of Joy was casted perfectly, she was perfect. I love you Amy Pohler. Hang out with me! Also, Mindy Kaling is the voice of disgust and when they offered her the role she was moved to tears and said, “I think it’s great that you guys are making a film that shows it’s hard to grow up and it’s ok to be sad about it.” Couldn’t have said it better myself Mindy. Hang out with me too.

 

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

 

 

This movie had its debut at Sundance this last year. Naturally, there was a buzz about how good it was and it’s unique humor. There is nothing particularly special about the story line of this movie in the sense that it’s a high school drama/comedy and a girl that has cancer. We’ve seen hundreds of these movies. BUT you haven’t seen this one. This one is somehow better than the rest. It’s not heavily chick-flic ish (Fault in our Stars) nor is it purposely trying to make you cry (Walk to Remember). It’s something different. The dialogue and camera angles are fresher to me. Just see it guys.



Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

I saw this trailer months before the movie came out and I promptly told Devan we had to see it. That comment surprised me because I’m not the biggest “action film” fan but something about the post-apocalyptic and Tom Hardy combination had me counting down until the day it opened. Let me just say, the movie lives up to the hype. There was zero disappointment and even surprise at how much I enjoyed this movie. Charlize Theron becomes the unknowing protagonist and her feminist mission is riveting. Plus, she still looks amazing with a buzzed haircut!  IMDB trivia is becoming my favorite go-to after a good movie, and I learned that over 80% of the action and stunts were real effects and used without CGI. I’m not an expert on this stuff—but you can tell it enhances the action and it feels so much more real. I don’t feel I can say much else, except maybe a small caveat for those that feel queasy from violence- it’s intense.

I wanted to do a post on Marriage (and post a few of my fav wedding photos!) I am coming up on my first anniversary. I understand I have YEARS ahead of me to truly learn what marriage is but I want to put on paper (or virtual paper) how I feel today. If I had known in my single dating years what I know now, I would be a lot less afraid of my future and overall happier-- so I guess this post is retrospectively for my former self and for those that still wonder.

 

You have to put my dating experience in the context of  Mormon culture. When I say it's hard to be single and 24, it actually can be. I recall feeling like my life was running on a treadmill- trying so hard to move forward but not actually going anywhere. If you feel this way, stop it. You are going somewhere and you are moving forward. I strongly believe that no girl should place their importance on whether or not they are a wife or a mother. You can be happy with just yourself. Best advice I ever heard, "marriage won't make an unhappy person happy". It's true and I remembered that often. I also forgot it often. When I remembered that advice, I chose to find the areas in my life that were growing- my education, my career, love for yoga, my relationships with girlfriends etc... 

 

 

 

In the same vein, I also believe that a culture revolved around marriage isn't a bad thing. I think marriage has elevated me in so many ways. I'm glad I still looked for it. The common censure that marriage is more like "a ball and chain" couldn't be more wrong for me. In fact, the exact opposite is true. I think being single made me a slave to the life of dating. A slave to my search for love. I have felt complete freedom of life since the moment I found my person. I believe marriage was my next step in this journey of life and has only given me thoughts that say,"I can do anything and be anything-- I have someone that supports and loves me no matter what. If I fall, I fall into him."

 

 

 

I'm getting beside my point, my point for this post is to say that it's ok to believe in a "fairy tale" happiness within reason. I am constantly surprised at how beautiful everything is. I shouldn't be surprised by this but years of dating can make you believe "love" isn't out there and everyone "settles" in one aspect or another. Wrong. I can honestly say I have married the man of my dreams and we live our version of a fairy tale life. We get to hang out every evening and talk/complain about work. We get to make dinner together and go to the gym and hit up the hot tub regularly. We get weekends full of good food and nieces/nephew hugs we want to never end. I guess the difference is choosing what you want your fairy tale to be. I decided what a good and happy life was when I met Devan. A fairy tale life centered on family, kindness and consideration.

I don't think life has to be hard. There will be hard things to live through but that doesn't have to dictate how you feel about living. Some may call me naïve and young in marriage and that may be true-- but for now, I am letting the beauty and happiness of life fill me in every corner of my being.

 

I love the number 9. This isn’t your average human/“favorite number” relationship. This is a love affair. The number 9 has always seemed to follow me in life in series of good fortune and comfort.

Starting at the beginning—I was born October 9^th, so nothing quite original there but a convenient place to start with a favorite number. As I read more about numerology, the more I loved my number 9. In numerology each person has what you call a “life path number” and it is figured out through a mathematical equation based on your birthday. (I fully understand that I sound like the crazed horoscope type… but what can you do). Mine happens to be the number 9. I share a birthday with John Lennon but we do not have the same life path number because of the different year he was born (which he relayed in an interview and talked about his love for the number 9 as well). The number 9 has many mysteries both mathematical and symbolic. It’s the magic number. Have you become addicted to the game Sudoku at any point in your life? It’s a complex number.

On my 9^th birthday my Grandma Davis gave me a birthday card with 9 crisp dollars inside the envelope. She explained to me how important this birthday was from all other birthdays - it was my Golden Birthday: the day your age and day of birth dance cohesively in perfect compatibility. Another memory burns crystal clear in mind’s eye. I was in the basement of my home in Layton, Utah in my Dad’s unfinished office. I was doing my math homework and my Dad taught me the multiplication of 9’s using only my fingers. “Hold out your ten fingers and put down the finger you want to multiply by 9. Line up the fingers on your left with your right and you have your answer!” It was magic.

As my life has moved forward a pattern has begun to form in my day to day routine. I see the time 10:09 am/pm almost every single day. It became so amusing to me that I think my internal clock knows that I check the time at 10:09 and I proceed to do so. The satisfaction of checking the time at 10:09 has infected my husband and he can’t get away from it. Devan and I were walking through Bed, Bath, and Beyond when we were engaged last year and we saw an entire wall of clocks both digital and traditional at exactly 10:09—this time was printed on the outer boxes as advertisements. I immediately googled the time 10:09 and found that it was the “official time” of Timex watches and clocks. In fact, most clock companies use 10:09 for advertisement because of its equal looking balance on the traditional clock. I somehow took this as a sign to apply for a job at Timex in Connecticut. I told them I was a 10:09 enthusiast on my application! I never heard from them… of course—because I sounded like an insane person.

 

I guess my point is—we humans love to attach ourselves and our personalities to “favorites” be it food, movies, music, colors, and numbers. I’ve always been torn between SO many favorite foods and music and movies and books but never numbers. I feel like I am a true number 9 and I wear the number on my neck—it makes me feel authentic, like maybe I know myself a little better than I sometimes question.

 

 

“Vulnerability is not weakness, vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.”

– Dr. Brene Brown (if you haven’t seen this Ted Talk yet, go watch it now)

I believe in vulnerability whole heartedly. I also believe that you have to experience vulnerability to feel the difference it can make in your life. Before I came to this realization, I saw myself as someone who could be what others wanted to see-- I could appear confident and I could do it well. Opening up and being ‘vulnerable’ were nothing but a pool of weaknesses I couldn’t afford to reveal. I worked hard at keeping myself bottled, and in complete control. News Flash—the exact opposite is true. If you want control, authenticity, and confidence it can come through vulnerability.

Yoga taught me a lesson on vulnerability. I know that vulnerability can be vague but in my experience it involved two large realms of my life—healthy body image and entering that scary dating world for real.

I believe that vulnerability is ultimate self-respect. In one of the first yoga classes that I attended years ago I had one of those “aha” moments. I was focused, involved, and completely present. I focused more on my breathing throughout the hour and internalized the words of my yoga teacher, “be familiar with your body and do so without judgment.” At the close of each class we lay on our backs in complete meditation (shavasana) and as I did, I began to cry. The relaxation and peace of mind I had felt had literally brought me to tears. No other thoughts of sadness, longing, or fear entered my mind—just purity and with that came a wave of emotion. Never have I cried that way before and it confused me. Laying on the yoga matt and accepting my body had allowed me to be completely vulnerable. Part of vulnerability is the acceptance of where you stand, how you feel, understanding your place in the journey of life and being fully present. In that hour I did not compare my body with others. I did not reflect longingly on that perfect gymnast body I had years ago. I didn’t shame at my lack of strength or perfect movements. I just accepted myself. Being vulnerable felt almost invincible and I began to open up to those around me. Vulnerability is liberating.

Of course, I slip like everyone else. There are harder days even now. But I try to remember this experience that vulnerability led me to acceptance that in turn led me to self-respect. I wanted to share this because courage is something we need daily and I believe you can find courage in vulnerability.

 

 

Happy Place

 

Meadow Hot Springs. I have to talk about this place because it is my heaven on earth, or rather heaven in a meadow in the middle of nowhere in central Utah. Devan took me here on a date when we were just awkward dating love friends. Devan loves this place, he literally gets giddy every time we go-- but if you've been, then you know. We have taken several friends and family and it never ceases to be anything but relaxing.

I can promise a shooting star or two in the night sky and the perfect temperature to soak for hours in a minimally sulfur smelling natural spring. Your skin is soft and the water is deep. We've even been amongst scuba divers while swimming there, from children to drunk old men, it's quite a popular spot. I have heartburn posting this because I want everyone to know how awesome it is, but I also want nobody else to go. It's mine. Ok fine, you can go but don't ever go in the middle of the day in late summer. We ran into bird bee's you guys. Bee's the size of humming birds and they are not above diving into the water! This is real.

So besides that one experience of terror, Meadow Hot Springs is our spot. I love having spots. Places that make you feel yourself. A place you can breathe, a place you can be completely removed from the stresses of life. I live to find places like these, even if it's just a state of mind in the middle of the week. "Go to your happy place" has a real image for me and it may or may not be the picture above.

Disclaimer: There are sharp rocks and ledges, a muddy trail that will ruin your shoes, and possibly cows that wander too close. Worth it.

 

 



So.....I just finished this book. Every time I read a book that I really like-- I feel somewhat panicked that not enough people know how great it is and need to know RIGHT NOW. That is obviously ridiculous because this book has been extremely popular lately due to the recent movie release of, "Wild" with Reese Witherspoon. I've also seen the movie and figured I'd share my thoughts on both book and movie.

But first-- books are best. Memoirs can be even better than books. It's a dear diary sob story and I mean that in the best way possible. I think it was the perfect book to read at the turn of the year because I was in constant awe at Cheryl's self discipline and ability to push herself. The girl hikes the PCT, over 1,000 miles from Southern California up to Washington....by herself. If Cheryl could do that, well I could at least stay on this treadmill for 5 more minutes right? She made me feel kind of brave in my own little life. It's also one of those books that make you feel that you had everything growing up, not a single valid complaint in comparison. Also, I want to plan several different camping trips and hikes-- we should be outside you know?

The movie was wonderful. Reese Witherspoon was the perfect choice and I actually can't think of another actress that could have done better in this role-- weird, I know. The screen writer happened to be one of Devan's favorite authors, Nick Hornby. So we were biased to begin with -- a great adaptation.

If you're feeling the need to be a little braver, you could read/watch Wild. You wouldn't be sorry.

for the first time...

If only I could properly iterate how many times I have tried to start a blog. Frustration with choosing the right templates and multiple versions of dumb blog titles. This happens to be the first time i've actually uploaded. It's difficult believing you have something to say that is value enough to be public. However, I prefer to view my blog as more of a tracking of thoughts and a library of experience-- so it's more for me than anyone else.

It is liberating to have a space to freely express, even if it is a tiny url in sea of millions. Not to mention the absorption of time wrapped up into just one post. In this moment, that is a good thing.

I imagine my posts will range from personal theories to book and movie reviews and if you're lucky some dear diary sob stories.

Stay tuned-- or not. It's your life.