This photo makes me feel like a pregnant goddess, the opposite of what pregnancy has actually felt like-- clearly my friend Brittany is so talented

12 days. 12 days from the date baby is due. He could come any time and the anticipation is terrifying and exciting! At any moment my life will change forever and it will happen in the next couple weeks. My impatience is very apparent in moments like this. To distract myself I thought it would be good to do a post or two before we are a family of three. If I finish the nursery this week, I'll document that too. Anyway, I want to remember the way Devan and I have looked at each other recently, not knowing the words to say but a look of pure naivety of what we're about to experience together. We ask constantly, "I wonder what he will look like".  I can't believe it won't be just us ever again, but I am not sad. This is our child. Half me and half the person I love the most in the whole world. (I forgot to warn you about this mushy post, sorry not sorry).

Our not-so-secret bon fire spot, we'll take anyone! It's one of my favorite places to be

In reality we haven't been 100% ourselves for so long because of the pregnancy but the "nesting" of nursery set up, evening walks, bike rides, so many trips to the pool-- they are our new normal and I can't wait to add a baby to these simple but perfect daily rituals. We've been able to fit in a bon-fire, some trivia nights, and jamming apricots (who even are we???). My job feels like a nuisance lately, I am so ready to meet my baby boy and meetings about product development feel extra long in comparison.

Our apricot tree produced thousands of mini apricots, it's a good year for offspring :) If jamming isn't considered "nesting" I don't know what is



Devan has a talent for great ideas when we need them most. He has taken me to three different pools the last week so I could feel lighter and not so uncomfortably pregnant after work. I have this selfie photo that makes me happy. My pregnant skin has been pretty good, the sun feels amazing and when I am floating in a pool I feel like maybe the life of motherhood won't be so scary.

I also want to thank all the friends and family that have spoiled me and baby boy. The beautiful baby showers were so generous and I feel so much love and support from those in my life.

Ma girls in Utah. This is only 1 of three baby showers I was given, did I already mention spoiled?!

We'll see how soon it takes me to document a birth story and my thoughts on early motherhood. Sleep deprivation is not easily dealt with in the Francis home, shit about to get real over here. I can't hardly wait.

The latest and greatest in our lives involves a tropical vacation, a growing baby bump and a small flicker of nesting that I might be actually feeling.


First with the baby bump. Here is my 26.5 week bump. I have such negative feelings for this tradition of sorts. I don't feel like I'm particularly glowing and nothing highlights a large breast size like a growing belly (if you know me, you know I hate those big things). But I should really set aside those feelings and let the photo remind me of the cool things like how baby boy seems to know when Devan is feeling my belly and always high fives or kicks the hardest. Also, pregnancy has actually gotten a lot better for me as far as feeling myself again. I'm just weeks, probably days away from absolute discomfort I'm sure. It feels like we're getting close, but then I talk to those that are weeks away from being due and I realize that 3 more months is actually a long time. Let's grow this baby!

We've recently been spoiled with a trip to Roatan, Honduras from Devan's parents. My in-laws are seriously the best. They found the most beautiful rental house on the island with a  private cove on the beach with lots of room and a pool. We got to spend an entire week with the Francis family and it was magical. From snorkeling at West End beach numerous times to authentic food and literally a million gelato trips! I can't thank Lori and Dave enough for such a beautiful trip. I love our late night card games (and the fact that I win so often) as well as spending that extra time with all the cute little nieces and nephews. There are some amazing moms and dads in my family, I'm sure learning a lot and taking notes.


Here are a few photos I'll want to look back on.

If I can remember that coconut gelato on rainy days in Utah, I could almost be back there.

 All my people. Cutest kids. Best humans to be with!

 Relaxation was no joke, this hammock (from my parents for Christmas! Thanks guys) and that view... get outta here.

 We were 2 almost 3 peas in a kayak pod. Sunset Kayaking was so beautiful. Nice hat Dev.

 Wish I got a pic of us in our snorkeling gear, but this is one we took before we went out. Fishes for days with the brightest colors!

Another awkward baby bump photo in my swimsuit. Got some sun bleached hairs going on toooo.

We lived in our swimsuits. And again, that view people!

 Ahhh presh.

 This was my view from our bedroom door for a whole week. take me back!

When I said we had a lot of gelato... I wasn't kidding.




I could add half a million more pics. Maybe I will later. Vacation is good for the soul. So thankful again for that trip. We are back home in real life. I'm at work right now trying to remember what the sun felt like. However, I've got that itch to begin making the home ready for baby boy! I bought my nursery paint color, some décor and want to get my guest bedroom and refresh my bedroom at the same time! Heck, I want to do the whole house! I need to go take some before and afters of the nursery for my next post. Peace out.

So we're having a baby! The words still feel surreal and the reality of it takes time to set in (maybe that's why pregnancy is 9 months... but you guys, 9 months is seriously a long time). Most of the time I am too anxious to wait. I have never been so baby hungry and I already imagine our baby in my arms. And other times, small short moments, I am overwhelmed with doubt. Do I really know how to care for a baby?! So many "what ifs" and thoughts of fear that I did not expect when sitting on the cusp of motherhood. 

 Through pregnancy I expected support and sympathy from Devan, because he is just that kind of person. However, I did not expect his overt acts of selflessness and service-- willing to get me anything and do anything to make me feel better. When he rubs my back at 4am because I'm frustrated with insomnia and I can tell he is barely awake, but awake still rubbing my back to help me go back to sleep. Devan is my antidote for the fear of becoming a parent. When I feel that overwhelming sense of responsibility I quickly remember Devan and how capable he is of being the best partner a person could dream up to raise a child with. He is sensible and researched, yet warm and loving. If I can follow his lead on things I don't know, I think this kid could end up just fine.

I always knew I wanted to start a family. I grew up knowing it'd eventually come, but I am starting to realize that I never fantasized about being a mother. I have spent the last 6 years working full time while finishing school and falling in love. Most of my "know how" and "being Kira" is actually quite selfish. Don't get me wrong, we have prayed for this moment to come! However, I legitimately feel like I don't have the maternal knack and instincts that might make up a mom who can manage a household. I'm messy (ask my friends, roommates, and Devan), I'm lazy (ask my Netflix account), and have no interest in the kitchen (ask everyone). I don't say these things to bring myself down, I am healthily aware that these are not my strengths and this self-awareness has gotten me by. If I know anything about being a new mother, I know every little weakness I have before will only be magnified when I have a baby. I'm tired now? You don't know exhaustion yet. Your room is messy now. Hahaha good luck cleaning that with a newborn. You have no dinner ideas lately? wow...

I guess what I am saying is motherhood will put a big fat magnifying glass over the things I have been complacent about thus far. I can only hope that me being aware of this will somewhat help  in making whatever small effort I can in the future.


I recently shared these fears with a friend and she told me, "that's what motherhood is for everyone, a magnifying glass on your weaknesses." I appreciated that perspective because I've always believed being a mother will make me a better person than any other responsibility.

One thing I know for sure, this kid will be loved a million times over. Grandparents so good, they should all really be raising this child. Aunts and Uncles on top of Aunts and Uncles who are each fun and unique in their own way. When I realize how lucky this baby is, I realize how lucky I already am.

Our baby boy is already everything. (besides how can you not love that thumb sucking little cutie!)